lost in prayer…

some nights I lay in bed and pray for what seems to be hours….last night was one of those nights. I fell asleep praying then woke up prayed some and so on and so forth. I seem to just have one long perpetual conversation with God. I pray that God will bring peace to my life and to help me be a blessing to others. I pray that God will send me a woman that I can build a relationship with based on trust, love, mutual respect, shared interests, intellect and a mutual desire to have a relationship with God as a couple and as individuals. Anything else seems to be based on this world and God tells us not to be of this world. Not to be trapped by the desire for material possessions, not to be conformed to this world and it’s transgressions. It’s hard. I guess that’s why they call it the narrow path. I’ve also been praying for work. Work that is meaningful and done in glory to God. I’m patiently waiting for both. I used to pray for healing a lot and all the time. I’m not healed of Leukemia but it is in a controlled state. I often think about stories of how people have prayed that God shrink a tumor and the next day it’s gone. That really can’t be done with mine because it all happens on a microscopic level and the test to determine that state of the disease takes two weeks to perform. So, I think to myself…..self, if God wants me to stop taking the medicine and wants to heal me then God will let me know. I pray for family and friends to be happy, protected, healthy and to know God. I pray for people with addictions that are missing life because of their afflictions. I pray for guidance and wisdom. My two year anniversary is coming up in about 3 months. I’ve been thinking about that lately. In the time before Gleevec and bone marrow transplants there were only miracles and 3-5 years to live. It’s hard to imagine what it would be like if the two year anniversary was possibly the 2/3 mark in the rest of my life. I feel so much for those people that get those diagnosis of only a few months to live. What about the people that get 6 months and make it two weeks? You just never know when it’s your time. All the more reason that we must make the most of the time that we have now. Make the most by having a passion for life. A passion to live each precious moment that we’re given to live. Mortality is a funny thing. So often we can’t wait until the day is over so we can start tomorrow to only do the same thing again. All the while many of us are going to Heaven and yet we won’t take a few simple necessary steps to make our time on this Earth good. We each have our own seperate path in life to walk and we never know where it’s leading us….thankfully, I’m going to Heaven. But not before it’s my time!